The Red Plum Method: How to relax and get “lost in the moment” on demand

Getting “lost in the moment” is the secret to a happy life.

If there’s one self-help platitude that deserves to be stenciled on the walls of suburban kitchens, it’s that one. My happiest days are the ones where where I lose track of myself most — absorbed in experience.

It usually happens by accident — but if you want to get lost on purpose, stop thinking about yourself.

You lost your glasses in 6th grade because you stopped thinking about them. You can lose yourself the same way.

Trying not to think about yourself is hard, though. So I’ll give you a trick:

Many have made the argument that trying not to think about something makes us think about it more. As proof, they say: “Try not to think about a white bear. Gotcha!” But the way to not think of a white bear is not to “not think about a white bear” — it’s to think about a red plum.

- Spencer Greenberg

Greenberg hints at the easy way to stop thinking about yourself:

Think about someone else.

Pickup lunch for a friend, really listen when they talk, or write them a handwritten thank you note.

If you want to train the habit of thinking about other people, start a “loving-kindness” practice. Spend a few minutes each day mentally wishing other people well: “May you be happy”, “May you be safe.”

With a little practice, the juicy satisfaction of misplacing yourself becomes an everyday event.

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